Do All Newly-Weds Make Love On Their Wedding Night?

By Maria Famakinwa

Wedding night is seen as a special time newly-weds look forward to. To many, it is a night that the wedding must be consummated after long waiting, denial, and perseverance on the part of the couple especially the groom.

No matter one’s belief, there is an age- long societal pressure on newly-weds to make maximum use of the wedding night as they are no longer binding under any religious law.

According to investigation, more than half of couples do not consummate their marriage on their wedding night. The Hope asked some couples if all newly-weds actually make love on their wedding night.

A banker, Mr Ben Abiola, who has been married for seven years, when asked if he made love on his wedding night said, yes, I did. “What do you expect? That I should be looking at my wife after a year of courtship, months of planning and executing a wedding, after the whole ceremony was successful and I am alone with the woman I vowed to spend the rest of my life with? Do you think I should turn her to a television on our wedding night? God forbid. If I missed my wedding night action, it will be a carry over that I will never be opportuned to resit.”

Sharing a similar sentiment, a 35-year-old businessman, Mr Tosin Woleola, who got married five years ago also hinted that failure to consummate one’s wedding night was missing the real message of the event. According to him, his wife Lola was not interested because a pastor told her that we should pray for three days before having anything together.”When she told me a day to our wedding, I nodded in agreement so as not to discourage her, but I had already made up my mind.

“Not even the waiting and rigorous examinations I went through from her pastors and parents before the wedding would make me miss my wedding night’s action. When it was the wedding night and we were together, she read my mood and reminded me of the three days prayers the pastor instructed, I disagreed that I could no longer suppress my sexual urge. Though she insisted, I had my way. Today, we are blessed with three children.”

Also, a nurse, Mrs Funke Oladipupo, who got married three years ago with three children revealed that her marriage was consummated on the wedding night which she added was expected of every newly-weds. She said,”We did. That is what differentiates your wedding night and make it remarkable. Do you expect my husband to be looking at me on our first night as legally married couple? Why then did we get married in the first place? Thank God that he did not fail in that important assignment. Otherwise, he would have sent a wrong signal to me.”

Mrs Funke’s husband, Mr Oladapo Oladipupo, in his words, said that wedding’s night was for couples’ compensation to whet their appetite.

 “My wife and I had already planned where we would go to have quality time for ourselves. This we achieved without any of the family knowing except for few friends who also showed understanding. The anxiety and anxious waiting must be laid to rest on the wedding night, especially for men who had to pass through courtship and other processes like I did for two years, which I termed period of waiting.

“What then will prevent me from breaking my long fasting on my wedding night? Do you think it is easy to keep one’s sexual urge in check for that long? To be sincere with you, I had been counting days and hours, the more the day drew near, the more I consoled myself that my waiting and fasting period would soon be over. No one in my situation will want to trade consummating the wedding night for anything. My wife complained that she was tired, but I told her that sex was the only sleeping pill she needed to sleep well.”

Speaking differently, a teacher, Mrs Jumoke Eniola, who got married 10 years ago said that she did not consummate her marriage on her wedding night because she was already seven months pregnant. Her words,” There was nothing to consummate on my wedding night again because I was already heavy and tired. Even my husband could not ask for such as he was asking me to go and rest. I did not know when I eventually slept off. It was at the middle of the night that I woke my husband up to prepare tea for me. It was a tiring night for me.”

A public servant who got married eleven years ago and gave his name as Wole also revealed that he did not consummate his marriage on his wedding night because his wife begged that she should be allowed to rest.

Asked if his wife was pregnant before the wedding, he said, “My wife was not pregnant but was very tired due to the wedding preparations and I must be considerate. Thank God, today we have four children and we are okay.”

A beautician, Mrs Blessing Duru, who got married ten years ago revealed that though she and her husband wished to consummate their marriage on the wedding night but situation then denied them the opportunities.

Her words,” My husband and I had concluded plans that our wedding night would be memorable as our married friends also did, but things took a different turn when my father in-law insisted that we could not leave that night because it was late. We try to convince him but he was adamant.

“We had no choice but to stay in the family house till the second day. As expected, the house was filled with family members from far and near who came for the wedding purpose. This disrupted our privacy and prevented us from achieving our wedding night dream, despite the fact that we were faithful to our church doctrines regarding courtship laws. My husband was angry throughout the night as we left his father’s house very early the next morning.”

A marriage counselor, Mrs Wumi Akingbade however observed that it is only couples who have had sex with one another before marriage that can let go of the wedding night without sex. Many newly-weds have sex because they feel that there is an expectation on their wedding night even when they are tired.

 “Consummating wedding night is more paramount to newly-weds who have abstained from sex before the wedding. The wedding night is unique to them in order to go with the flow and see how they feel when the night is over. To the groom especially, it is a day to break the jinx and establish the man in him. Most newly-weds who consummated their marriages on the wedding night knew that it was likely not going to be amazing sex, but they wanted it for the purpose of tradition.”

The Hope