Should An Unemployed Man Propose To A Lady?

By Adedotun Ajayi

Tade Ogunleye (not real name) has just concluded his university studies, in one of the universities in Nigeria. He was brilliant, dutiful but yet unemployed. He had written application letters to several companies as a graduate of Mechanical Engineering but none of the companies he wrote to replied him.

Tade was in love with a lady who also graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. Because of the love Tade had for Funmi Awelewa, he took her one Sunday to an eatery joint for a surprise but what he met was a shame he would never forget in his life. After buying expensive gifts for the lady at the eatery, he went down on his knees and proposed marriage to Awelewa but she thundered that such proposal can not materialize because the man proposing to her was yet unemployed and she could not fathom how a man unemployed, jobless and still living with his parents, could propose marriage to her.

Tade begged her in the presence of unlookers but Awelewa replied that she could not be in such a marriage. She walked angrily out of the eatery joint and Tade, where he knelt down proposing was weeping profusely. Now the question is, should an unemployed man propose marriage to a lady?

Mr Oluwaseun Ademola, has this to say about the issue: “You have no job or business, yet you knelt down to propose to a lady? That is not romantic. That is idiotic. The only proposals you should be making in your state are business proposals, not marriage proposals. Get a life, not a wife! Chase success. Be so focused on it that you have no time to chase women”

Also speaking with Edor Miracle, he said,“love isn’t driven by artificial and temporary circumstances. In fact, it is the time as a partner you prove yourself whether you love someone enough to support your loved ones with your blood and sweat.

“It brings you happiness when you support your loved ones. Unemployment is not permanent. You feel happy when you see you can help someone to get rid of stress and tension.

You feel happy when you see your partner smile in heart irrespective of difficult situations in life.

Love isn’t dependent on money. An unemployed man with potential can propose to his girlfriend. It to show support and love, Growing together is what love entails. Moreover, Rome wasn’t built in a day”

According to another respondent, Mr Omoniyi Richards, “most probably no. Women and money are 5&6. Once a man can’t provide for his basic needs, it’s a no. 

Unemployed man should not think of marriage at all. What he should think about is how to get a job or build a lasting career for himself. She may support you but for a short time. If you stay jobless for long, there is a big chance of getting apart. Since she is also human being, may have dreams, materialistic thoughts which can not be possible with a jobless guy”

However, Mr Oluwole Stephen, holds a contrary view, he said, “well it’s in two ways, Some proposals are to take the relationship to a next level. Like if the guy doesn’t want to lose his girlfriend, he can engage her, but he should know he just inherited another responsibility which will crash the relationship. The best thing is for the man to get employed and plan towards marriage. On the other hand, looking at the country’s unemployment rate, it’s nobody’s fault that they are not gainfully employed.”

Speaking with Mr Toyosi Ogundele,he said,”I advise the guy to get his act together. The problem is not about unemployment, but more of a depression. 

He needs to conserve his emotional energy, proposing marriage should not be the next thing, because marriage can be a burden or a drain at times for an unemployed man.

If I were him, I would concentrate on myself and not rely on some external crutch to get me through the dark times. I would also always remember things will eventually turn around for good.

“If applying for a job isn’t working out, then the man should learn a trade, at least something to bring food to the table. He is the man of the house.

“Don’t get caught up in the drama that a woman brings, at least not until the man is financially buoyant.”

According to Mr Feranmi Abimbola, “unemployment is really a temporary state. But it’s how you go about it that matters. I believe having a job or not shouldn’t be a criterion for one to have a wife/husband, because every one needs someone. 

However there are things a woman should look out for in an unemployed man is he lazy and content with his situation and are all his decisions governed by his state of unemployment ? I would have taken you out but I am unemployed so… I would have gone to see your people but you know I am… What kind of friends does he keep around? Some unemployed guys who are making no efforts or he tries to sit with people who can better help at least in the area of ideas?

How open is he when you discuss possibilities of getting something to do ?

Does he call his father’s property his?

If all these are present in such a man, then you need not to be told that you are in with the wrong man. As you can see, he isn’t making any attempt. He is not even keeping people who will help him. He is taking advantage of his unemployment to slowpoke you. Worst of all, he is waiting for his father to die so he will inherit his property.

So, if the guy is not in any of those categories, it would be difficult for him to find a very supportive lady.

The Hope